a friend Linann Pike who is also a writer re wrote the above and shows how to make a ordinary narration look a lot better
so here it is
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a magical adventure
I was sitting in the park watching the scenery and gradually children started to collect next to me with expectant faces. I wondered why they were all looking at me and soon a boy called Oliver said. “Please sir could you tell us a story?”
“Me? Do you mean me, I don’t know any stories?”
Just then we heard a whirring of mechanical wings and a clatter of legs. A deep voice interrupted me from behind and said, “Ahem! Sir did you forget the parade is on today?”
I turned around to see my large mechanical dragon staring me in the face. “The parade is on next week,” I said.
“They changed the date,” my dragon reminded me.
The childrens’ eyes were wide with amazement. They wanted a story. Now I was going to actually put them in one.
“We must act quickly, now!” insisted the dragon.
I turned to the children and asked, “Who wants to be the pilot, and who would like to be the passenger?” Oh, so many eager children to choose from, I thought.
“Pick me, pick me,” they chorused as they jumped in excitement.
“I know, we will play ‘eney meeny miny moe’ for the pilot and passenger.”
“Oliver, you can be the pilot, and Mary, would you like to be the Princess?”
“OH yes sir,” they said in unison.
“Hmm. We will need some fancy clothes. After all, we will be in a parade,” said the dragon. ” Oliver, would you please have a look in my tail? There is luggage in there and I think it has some costumes that will do nicely.” Soon Oliver was dressed as a boy with a fine red suit and a hat. Mary looked regal in a Princess dress. They really looked splendid in their new clothes.
“All aboard.” said the dragon. “There is plenty of room for both of you to ride.” Quickly both children climbed up on the dragon. “I think I will have to fly as we are running late,” said the dragon.
“Ccccan you really fly,” asked Oliver?” His voice quavered with fear, but he did not climb down. He was a brave boy.
“Yes of course I can fly, but only when grown ups are not looking.” The dragon looked at me, and I realized I had to look away. So I turned my head so I wouldn’t see him fly.
“Hold on! We are about to take off,” said the dragon.
“Wheee. I can see our house and dad is in the garden. “Hi dad,” yelled Mary.
“Ahemm. Remember, grown ups can’t see us,” said the dragon.
“I can see the parade now, pointed Oliver. “It’s over there.”
“OK! Hold on tight children while we land in that empty parking lot,” said the dragon. “Down we go.” The dragon glided gracefully down to the parking lot and landed gently so the children would not fall off.
“Well that was a great flight. Thank goodness my wings were well oiled. I guess we will have to walk the rest of the way to the start of the parade. I have to make sure no grown ups see me fly.”
“There are lots of people waiting for the parade,” exclaimed Mary.
“Hello Mr. Dragon. I am so glad you are here,” said the parade director. “Last time when you were behind the marching girls you breathed too much fire, so we will put you in front of them this time.
“Ahem. Yes, I was sorry about that sir.” The dragon looked embarrassed and ducked his head.
“That is quite alright. No one was hurt and we are thrilled you are joining us again this year.” The parade director patted the dragon to let him know all was well.
Oh what a parade it was. Every one was clapping and cheering as the dragon strutted along the road waving his wings and breathing just a little fire this time. His two passengers smiled and waved to all the people as they rode past.
The end of the parade came too soon for the now famous riders. All of Mary and Olivers’ friends had seen them riding the dragon. Father Christmas in his flowing robes came up to Oliver and Mary. “You children, and you Mr. Dragon, were wonderful. Everyone was so happy to see you this year. I hope you will be back next year.”
“Oh yes Father Christmas, we’d love to come back next year,” exclaimed Oliver.
“If mummy and daddy will let us,” added Mary.
“Nearly tea time you children,” said the dragon “time to return home.” When the dragon was away from grown ups, he took off into the air. Soon they were magically flying back to the park. They quickly returned to the other children who had not gone to the parade.
“Mummy, daddy, guess where we have been? We flew to the Christmas parade on a dragon and Father Christmas invited us to the next one.
“Yes dear. Time for tea,” said Mummy. She did not act surprised at all. She served tea and biscuits to all the children. The dragon also had a biscuit.
After tea, Mr. Dragon gave all the other children a ride on his back. “It is time for me to go now. I shall come back and visit soon.” The children waved goodbye as he flew up into the sky.
Later at dinner, the children were telling their mum about the dragon and flying to the parade. “Really mum. We flew!” Oliver could not convince his mother.
“Eat your dinner children.” Their mum smiled at them and continued to eat her dinner.
“Truly mum! That’s where we have been.” Even Mary could not convince their mum or dad that they had flown on a dragon.
“Oh you children have a great imagination” said dad. "Time to watch the news now."
“This is the 6 o’clock news. An extraordinary and unexpected guest turned up at the Christmas parade today. A mechanical dragon and two children riding on it joined the parade. They were the most celebrated float in the parade. Mystery surrounds the… “
The childrens’ voices interrupted the newsman. “Look dad! We’re on TV with our dragon!”
Topic: a magical adventure (Read 540 times)
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